party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
