Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize