You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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