If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize