She's JV to your varsity
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize