god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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