worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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