Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize