JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
