U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize