the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
