VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
