Say something about gay babies.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
