please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
