Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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