your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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