He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I could fuck to npr.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize