he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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