HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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