Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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