My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
