watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
