did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
