What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
