Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i think my cat just said my name.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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