Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
