I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
