Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Who died my cat blue again?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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