he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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