if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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