I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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