We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
