he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
