she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There r osticjed everywhere
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
