My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
