Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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