batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it's like heaven, but drunker
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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