You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
