The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
