Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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