her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
