well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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