Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Nicole vs. Life
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
