the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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