Pregnant stripper...not hot.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
