I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You left your phone here
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