i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
