with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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