Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
