I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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