The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
