Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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