none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
