help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Randomize
