Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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