The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
