i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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