i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
