I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
