We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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